Friday, March 19, 2010
I haven't posted for ages, and maybe that's because I've been trying to get comfortable in this hat again. I think it was 24 hours or so after my previous post that the news story broke about the kidnapping of the Haitian children under the guise of adoption. Since then there have been other unsavory stories in the news about foreign adoptions.
I want to believe that there are children (orphans) who need adopting and decent people who will love them.
I want to believe that because I am a birthmother.
Unfortunately, in many, many cases the adopters are unscrupulous and the children are victims.
For years I've had this scenario in my head that adoption should include the birthmother (and father) if at all possible. Why not foster a teen-ager and a baby? But maybe that's another dunce idea--that I won't write about.
Meanwhile, while on the subject of bad adoption news, I was struck by this article in the L.A. Times a few days ago. http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/latimes/access/1982653831.html?FMT=ABS&FMTS=ABS:FT&date=Mar+15%2C+2010&author=Marilyn+Elias&pub=Los+Angeles+Times&edition=&startpage=E.1&desc=Ripple+effect+of+sadness%3B+When+a+parent+hurts%2C+the+children+can+suffer+--+now+and+in+the+future.+But+depression%27s+toll+can+be+eased. The article isn't about adoption per se--it's about parents who suffer from depression and the effect that has on their children. "Evidence is mounting that growing up with a depressed parent increases a child's risk for mental health problems, cognitive difficulties and troubled social relationships." Another ripple in the adoption pond, I thought as I read on. The sadness that is the legacy of giving up a child goes on to effect subsequent children. Which could go on to effect the children's children. And so on. Big ripples in a deep, deep pond.