There's an excellent post by Claudia Corrigan D'Arcy on her blog http://www.musingsofthelame.com/
She's put up video of an interview with one of the co-authors of the book The Adoption Triangle. Annette Baran passed away on July 11th.
I found Baran to be honest, articulate, well-versed in historic adoption practices, and full of insight.
I read The Adoption Triangle ages ago as I began to search for my son, and found it to be a helpful book as I took my first steps on the road to reunion.
Thank you, Claudia.
Thank you, Annette. Rest in Peace.
I've been lurking around over at Birth Mother, First Mother Forum. Their blog has 117 followers (I'm one of them) and I have been clicking on each little picture wondering who all of these women are and what their stories are. If there is a link on the profile, I click on it and read a bit of their blog, and then I look at their followers and I click on those little pictures and see if they have blogs and who their followers are and then......
Are you following me--I mean this journey through a cyberspace rabbit hole where there are birthmothers around every turn?
One thing I've noticed is this: Many of the followers and the followers of the followers, etc. do not have blogs of their own, so I don't know for sure if they are are birthmothers or not, but I bet they are. Or adoptees. There are quite a few adoptees who follow Birth Mother First, First Mother Forum, too.
There are so many of us. So many birthmothers. So many adoptees.
And now I'm hooked. Every day, I'm going to click on a couple more pictures.
Ritual and rhythm in the life of a family are good things. The same vacation spot every spring. The Christmas candles on the mantle. The turkey centerpiece. It's harder to establish traditions in a family separated by adoption even after there's been a solid reunion. There's a lot on the calendar already if you're a 21-year-old adoptee. Ditto if you're a birthmother with other children and a husband and in-laws and a big extended family. And as everyone gets older more complications (albeit mostly happy ones) spread through our calendars like kudzu. Nineteen years post reunion my son has his own family. My other children are grown with mates of their own. Three years ago my husband left me for another woman, and what was left of our shifting sense of family rhythm was thrown completely out of sync.
This 4th of July (cue the big sunburst-like golden fireworks) my son and his family came to spend the holiday with me for the 2nd year in a row. The same park, the same blankets in the same spot.
It made me insanely happy.