Thursday, May 9, 2013
Dear Iowa: You Can't Have it Both Ways
I've been blogging regularly on my Other Blog which is not to say that I do not frequently think of adoption and its myriad issues. I continue to see the world through the eyes of a birthmother, and those eyes popped wide open recently when I read THIS.
I have some personal experience with Iowa's bureaucracy regarding birth certificates. In 1990 when I began to search for the son I had given up for adoption 20 years earlier, I wrote several letters to the Iowa Department of Human services asking them to provide me with the original birth certificate for my son. While I knew the original birth certificate would provide no identifying information that would aid in my search, I viewed it an empowerment exercise. My son had been taken from me, and the evidence of that separation had been erased. Silenced for two decades by shame, I came out of my closet after the birth of my third child brought home to me the fact that my son could not be replaced. At the very least, I wanted the state of Iowa to acknowledge that the birth had taken place. I wanted the piece of paper that held my name and his--although he was listed as merely "baby boy." It's probably worth noting here that my son's biological father's name did not appear on the original birth certificate since I declined to identify him. Nevertheless, with my own name as the only identifying information, I could not obtain the original birth certificate.
On medication for glaucoma at the time and afflicted with a moderately severe case of scoliosis, I had my doctors intercede with the state of Iowa as we attempted to have my medical history passed on to my son. The only communication that I received stated that there were no records pertaining to my inquiries.
Until the recent Iowa Supreme decision confirming the rights of same sex couples to have both their names appear on their children's birth certificates, The Iowa Department of Public Health insisted on listing the biological parents. While gay marriage has been legal in Iowa since 2009, Iowa has the dubious distinction of being the only state in the union to allow gay marriage while refusing to list both spouses on the birth certificate.
The irony of that, Iowa, is thicker than a cloud of mosquitos on a humid summer evening.
As a postscript, I'll say that I hope the gay and lesbian couples who are now officially recognized as their children's parents will not relegate their offspring to the blackout of information that many adult adoptees continue to endure in the state of Iowa.
Of course, there is this:
Effective July 1, 1999, Iowa law enables adoptees, their "birth parents," and their blood-related brothers and sisters to find each other if the birth is registered with the State of Iowa. The "Mutual Consent Voluntary Adoption Registry" was established in order to match those persons requesting that their identity be revealed to registrants "matching" information concerning an adult adoptee. All information provided to the registry is confidential and revealed only in the event that an appropriate match is made and the parties have been notified of the match. A $25 fee in U.S. funds and a certified copy of the applicant?s birth certificate must be submitted with each consent application.
I'm trusting the instructions are a bit oversimplified. Surely, they don't expect birthparents to supply a birth certificate......
Readers, have any of you out there used the Iowa Registry? Did reunions result? I'd love to hear about it.
photo credit: astoria-rust.blogspot.com